The Most Important Survey

My husband and I are sitting in a hotel room, waiting to catch a flight the next morning at O’ dark thirty, when I notice a survey left on the desk for us. “Fill us in, tell us your thoughts,” it beckons me. I thought back to a conversation my hubby and I had earlier in the car, in which he relayed to me a communication problem a friend of his was having with his wife. My husband’s friend (don’t worry he has many friends, you’ll never figure it out) complained that after many years of marriage he still doesn’t understand what his wife’s needs are. It made me wonder…why don’t we ask our spouses’ to fill us in on how we are doing? And ask them to tell us their thoughts.

Here is a sample survey to give your spouse, if you’re brave enough!

Answer each question with a score between 1 and 5. With 1 being poor and 5 being excellent:
#1.: Are you satisfied with the amount of time we spend together?
#2. Can you trust me?
#3. Do I make you feel secure?
#4. Do I make you feel safe?
#5. Do I make you feel valued?
#6. Am I available to you emotionally?
#7. Do I give you enough affection?
#8. Am I available to you sexually?
#9. Do I make you feel understood?
#10. Am I empathetic to your point of view?

Results (not at all scientific, so don’t divorce over this!)

0 to 15: Relationships are work, and you’ve got some work to do!
16 to 30: Be more of a listener, than a fixer!
31 to 45: Commit to learning more about your spouse today, than you did yesterday!
46 to 50: Congrats! You are meeting the longings of his/her heart!

It seems that everywhere we shop we are asked to fill out a survey. The purpose is to identify where a business is strong and where its weaknesses are. You can’t improve those weak areas if you don’t know what they are. So go ahead. Ask your spouse to “Fill me in, tell me what you think,” then listen objectively, with the sole purpose of learning how to better love, your better half!

“How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.” Proverbs 3:13