I (HEART) VALENTINE’S DAY

 

 Allow me to take you back a couple thousand years, give or take… imagine you are living in Rome in the year 270AD.  You and your lover want to be married, but a decree has just gone out from Emperor Claudius II:  An unmarried man makes a better soldier than a married one; therefore marriage is illegal for young men.                 It just so happens that you are told of a Priest named Valentine who dedicates his life to protect Christians from the brutal persecution by Claudius II, and has defied the decree by secretly performing marriage ceremonies for young lovers.

You have managed to get a message to this brave priest, and he has responded by secret courier;  I will marry you and your betrothed as you wish.  Meet me this day in the parish garden under the cover of night…forever yours, Valentine. The next day as you bask in secret marital bliss, you hear the news…the Emperor’s men have captured Valentine.  He is beaten, ordered to renounce his Christianity, and when he refuses, he is beheaded. The date is February 14^th.  You and others vow never to forget his sacrifice for love.

Many centuries later the Catholic Church gave Valentine the title of “Valentine Patron Saint of Young Lovers” and in doing so…fulfilled that vow.  He really was so much more, but that is how we came to set aside the day he was martyred, February 14^th as a day to celebrate our romantic relationships.

A note to Husbands:  Valentine’s Day is not: A Hallmark holiday contrived to force men to empty their wallets or express canned emotions.  Although in today’s world Valentine’s Day is over feminized, remember that its root is in the ultimate masculine sacrifice; a willingness to die for the one you love.  For Saint Valentine, his love was Jesus Christ.  He lived to serve his brothers and risked it all in the name of love.  If you want to make your wife's day, tell her how she makes you a better man.  She will appreciate it!

A note to Wives:  Valentine’s Day is not an excuse for wives to set up unrealistic expectations.   Please stop telling your husband that you don’t want him to do anything special for you on Valentine’s Day. You know you don’t mean it, but he thinks you’re serious! If you want to celebrate in a special way, don't make him guess, be specific!   If you really want to make your husband’s day, tell him why and how much you respect him.  He will love you for it!

February 14^th is a special day set apart for romance.  We are reminded to care for each other with a “put my spouse first” kind of love.   A single day, set apart for romance and a reminder on our busy calendars to take time to express our hearts to our one true love.  

This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you.                                 John 15:12 (the Message)

What is the State of Your Union?

The President of the United States recently gave his yearly State of the Union address. Historically these speeches can either inspire or depress you depending on your political persuasion. It made me think of something more personal and close to home.

If you were to give a speech on the state of your marital union what would it sound like? Would there be more positive than negative news? Would you be tempted to throw in a few well-intentioned promises or hollow platitudes? I wonder if your listener; aka your spouse, would feel encouraged or pessimistic afterwards.

Allow me to give you a very hypothetical, (in other words completely made up example): If I were to ask my husband what he thought of my cooking (he might say, “what cooking?”), but let’s just say if I were to cook dinner-and then ask him what he thought of my cooking, I would want him to be more of a politician, and tell me what I wanted to hear, or at least soften the truth for me. However when it comes to the really important topics in our relationship, such as his overall contentment with me, I really don’t want him to candy coat the truth.

Every so often my husband and I will ask each other a simple question:
How are we (as a couple) doing? What can I do better as a husband, or as a wife? We use this as an opportunity to listen without getting defensive, to gain insight into the other person, and to grow even closer as husband and wife. Think of it as an exploratory committee of two!

Like politics, many of us can go through our daily lives not paying too close attention, only to find that somewhere along the road, we may have missed an opportunity to make a difference for those that we love. Don’t do that. Get actively involved in your marriage, put God front and center and make the state of your union strong!

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT