The Love Gift

“You want me to do what?!!!” I screeched at my husband when he asked me if I would go with him to his High School reunion.“But, I won’t know anyone but YOU!” My former insecure and shy self-responded. Has your spouse ever asked you to do something, that you were diametrically opposed to doing?

I recently had the privilege of attending another fantastic marriage focused weekend event put on by North County San Diego’s own Marriage Resource Center.

There were several renowned speakers throughout the weekend, and their personal testimonies’ along with their professional backgrounds provided me with so many precious “nuggets” or tools to pass along to others and more importantly to put into practice in my own marriage. There was one “nugget”, which stood out in particular, provided by an amazing and accomplished lover of God by the name of Kathleen Hart. I call it my “Golden Nugget” because it has great potential value, if you choose to use it. It’s called The Love Gift.

Here’s how it works: Your partner would like you to do something that would make him or her happy.

Example #1: Your wife has been home with the kids all week while you have been traveling on business. All you are looking forward to is coming home and staying put all weekend, but when you get home on Friday, she tells you she is in desperate need of a date night with you, ASAP! What to do…?

Example #2: You have been home with the kids all week while your husband has been out of town on business. You are tired, grumpy, and are in desperate need for some rest and time for yourself. Your husband returns from all of his stressful traveling and wants to re-connect with you…literally! Arrrgh!!! What to do…?

This is where The Love Gift comes in to play… your spouse has just presented you with an opportunity to put their happiness over your own discomfort. This is why it’s called the love gift, but there are a couple of rules that go along with it.

Rule #1: You cannot ask for a love gift, it has to be given freely with no strings attached.

Rule #2: It has to be something that you do not want to do.

Rule#3: Once you give the love gift you forfeit the right to complain about it to your spouse.

Maybe you’re thinking; “but, what’s in it for me?,” Quite a bit, actually. It’s an opportunity to bless your better half. You will grow as a person, more into the image of Jesus Christ with each unselfish act. The best part is that YOU will be a happier person for it, because you have just said yes to a possible bonding experience with your mate.

As far as my husband’s High School Reunion…yes I agreed to go, despite my personal reservations. We had a five hour car ride to his reunion, and my husband brought his senior yearbook with us, so I could look at all of his friends, and various clubs he was involved in. We had such a good time during that road trip. I enjoyed just having time with my husband without all the distractions of work and home. I also learned more about him and what he was like before we met. By the time we entered the hotel hosting his High School Reunion, I felt that I already knew his friends and felt a part of his school. I ended up more fun at his reunion, than I had at any of mine. Believe it or not, I can’t wait until his next one. Who really got the Love Gift…him or me?

"Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting is the way. Generosity begets generosity." Luke 6:38